What was that? Holy shit.

Wow...  I just want to start off that way.  Wow.  Now, this post, isn't going to be the same as the usual stuff goes.  Nothing has really changed on my perspective about Kendall...  But, why ruin a good mood, talking about how I miss a person who has literally destroyed me and is trying to erase me from her new life.

I don't want to use her name.  Not Kendall's...  the "Wow" woman.  We'll just keep it that way for right now.  I'll have to be vague too, but still describe it enough to read this and remember how awesome it was.  Now, I've known this wow woman for a long time, but never pursued anything with her other than our friendship...  and while I've thought about it, I never thought it was possible.  We went dancing.  I drank, probably more than I should have.  I let her drink and drive which is the dumbest thing I've done in a long time...  had I been more coherent.  We got back to her place, talked for a while and then she thrust herself onto me and starts making out with me.  Then immediately the shirt and the pants come off.  I can't remember how aggressive I was, but I know that she was the more aggressive one there.  Things went to the bedroom.  And more cloths came off.  She wanted to fuck.  Totally.  Whispering it in my ear, taking the pants off...  Wow.  Right?

I don't know why.  I'd like to think it was partly because I was pretty intoxicated... and also because I wanted to move a little slower than this.  Not at all for my sake... but hers.  I don't want her to do something and then somehow regret it later.  So I slowed things down...  tucked her into bed and fell asleep on the couch.  Well, not completely nude.  But from the waist down.  Hmmm...  We woke up.  She "can't remember" what happened the night before.  And went about it, I guess like it almost never happened.  I wish that wasn't the case.  I find her irresistible and just wish there's a different way to go about this.  Can I fix this, in some way that will allow me to pursue her without it getting weird or have we passed the point?

Does she see anything in me?  She knows I'm pretty damaged, as she has gone through something similar.  But, is there anything that could come from it and if there is, how do I get to that point?  I guess the only way to find out is to pursue her.  Not immediately of course... but soon.  :)

But...  Wow.

~John