It's been some time. It's surpassed the time that I thought it would take to get over you in the slightest sense. I'm not more forceful... I'm not more ignorant or filled with this uncontrolable rage. I am hurt. Still from the fact that you are no longer in the love with the man you made a family with.
I write this, all in the middle of a party, that is to define the ending of my late 20's. Something I had always imagined you at. Holding my hand, smiling into my soul. Loving me, as you always have. But every place, I imagined, I would see you, you are abset. Lost, amonst my hopeful memories. You should be here... but your not. And in the end, it's because of me.
How do I know what love is... It's this. Still, deep inside of me, I miss you throughout my days. Still stuck with the mistakes I made. The pain I feel daily without you, that I am just supposed to smile and nod about. I am not okay... I am not alive without you touching me and telling me it'll be okay. But, will anything change? No.
My birthday, my life... forever lost without the soul I fell in love with. The one my mind thinks about constantly when it's not thinking about the children, I've been part of daily.
Just empty. Will it go away, I'll never go away.
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