It's weird how long it's been without Kendall. I still think about this daily, as I am left with this emptiness that only reminds me, how much I love her. My words have become anger lately. It's hard to hear the things she is saying to me, which only somehow get worse and worse. This person who used to be in love with me... started a family with me and change my life forever, has a grasp on my heart. I truly don't want to let go. Not that I can't... I'm sure I can. But, I love Kendall. I love everything about her. I always have and I always will.
But, if I am ever going to have a chance again in Kendall's life... I need to make some big changes soon. I need to somehow learn to get over this ordeal. Maybe not directly in myself, but definitely how I project myself everywhere else. I am afraid...
I need to put my balls on. I need to act like a man and work to achieve something more... after all, Kendall somewhere, still loves me. Somewhere in her heart, she still thinks and remembers me. And somewhere, she misses me. She's saying hurtful things and pushing me away, but that's possibly a front. While, I'm sure she has feelings for Will, deep ones... she knows that she created a family with me and somewhere deep inside of herself, she wishes it could be that way.
I need to promise myself this. I need to fulfill this, to have her see me as a different worthwhile man. One worthy of her love. I need to stop being desperate and get back to being me. I need to hide the pain and learn to overcome.
I can do it.
5 things...
1. Work and not be afraid to work. Earn money and save. Fix the financial issues.
2. Don't get angry. Relax, breathe and stay calm.
3. Don't go back to the past, unless it relates to something immediate and important.
4. Move on. Date. Stay single, but committed.
5. Keep your head up.
No comments:
Post a Comment