Where to begin. I am using a new app from my phone that allows me to post from my phone. A lot has happened lately. Ive been dating though its been a little hard to change my heart. Overall I just see it as a good thing that I have been getting out more and trying new things. I met a woman named Catherine. Shes pretty cool. Intelligent and unique in a lot of new refreshing ways. I like her a lot, but have been taking my time. Shes moving to LA in a month or so, so Im afraid to get invested into her.
So far we've gone to a Burlesque show, a womans roller derby and a few other places in which we've had a lot of fun with. Shes got 2 adorable kids. Max and Audrey. I have yet to meet them, but all in due time I guess. Ive been speading a good amount of time with Catherine. We've seen each other almost every weekend for coming on... The 3rd week. We've kissed goodnight, but really no further than that. Personally, Im just not pushing it. If it happens, it'll happen. :)
Kendall apparently got married. Her friends told me. At first it didnt bother me... But the next morning when I actually had time to think about it... It caused me to break down. I cried for about 45 minutes on and off throughout the day. I just couldnt believe it. I was replaced fairly quickly... But this fast? I just dont get it. How could she ever claim that she loved me . It hurt. It really hurt. I mean, Im okay that she wants to be happy... But this was just plain insulting.
My life feels like she was almost never part of it. It saddens me to feel that way, when I was proud to love her and honored that she loved me. I stood by her side, watched her give birth to my kids... Everything. And now, I am to go on pretending that she was not important to me at all. Id be lying to myself. Ive also been seeing the kids, less and less. That hurts even more. I need them in my life. Like I need water on a hot day. Like I need air. I miss them.
I want to fight and take this to court. But I feel Im losing touch with who I am, in doing so. Im not that kind of man. But I also feel like shes hurting me on purpose. Shes taking the kids from me more and more. I just feel so much like I need to fight back. *sigh*. I wish I could wake up from this dream. I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare.
Gnight.
~John
So far we've gone to a Burlesque show, a womans roller derby and a few other places in which we've had a lot of fun with. Shes got 2 adorable kids. Max and Audrey. I have yet to meet them, but all in due time I guess. Ive been speading a good amount of time with Catherine. We've seen each other almost every weekend for coming on... The 3rd week. We've kissed goodnight, but really no further than that. Personally, Im just not pushing it. If it happens, it'll happen. :)
Kendall apparently got married. Her friends told me. At first it didnt bother me... But the next morning when I actually had time to think about it... It caused me to break down. I cried for about 45 minutes on and off throughout the day. I just couldnt believe it. I was replaced fairly quickly... But this fast? I just dont get it. How could she ever claim that she loved me . It hurt. It really hurt. I mean, Im okay that she wants to be happy... But this was just plain insulting.
My life feels like she was almost never part of it. It saddens me to feel that way, when I was proud to love her and honored that she loved me. I stood by her side, watched her give birth to my kids... Everything. And now, I am to go on pretending that she was not important to me at all. Id be lying to myself. Ive also been seeing the kids, less and less. That hurts even more. I need them in my life. Like I need water on a hot day. Like I need air. I miss them.
I want to fight and take this to court. But I feel Im losing touch with who I am, in doing so. Im not that kind of man. But I also feel like shes hurting me on purpose. Shes taking the kids from me more and more. I just feel so much like I need to fight back. *sigh*. I wish I could wake up from this dream. I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare.
Gnight.
~John
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