Well... there's been something wrong with me. I know this is a little more than I even need to explain, but I must. Let me explain. Ever since Kendall, I haven't had sex with anyone else. At first, it was a moral choice. I felt like despite the fact that we were over... it still felt like cheating. I had been with this woman for the last 5 years and never once felt something for someone else. I had a brief feeling for Tracy, but just that childish puppy love I had years ago. I have fooled around. Don't confuse that. I am however, only human... but full sex, I could not do. I'm not sure why. If fact, I should go as far as saying I wasn't aroused by anyone else other than my ex. She was everything I wanted and thought I would need out of a woman. Trying new women, just hasn't been completely done it for me. Seriously. It's been 7 months and 18 days, since I've been with Kendall. I miss it to be honest... but doubt VERY much, after having whatever go on now. And not like there weren't men before me... It's just disrespectful. She lost me. And that ability too.
Anyways... like I was saying. I dropped my streak. With Catherine last night and earlier today. Last night, I was too tired to really keep myself aroused. This morning I couldn't concentrate and was embarrassed for the second time about my malfunctioning penis. Any girl prior, I've had to go through extensive measures to get myself to the point of "Bang". I tried a 3rd time, hoping that I would go. It was the first time in a long time since I had SEX sex with anyone. Hard to keep it hard. Personally, I think it was more psychological than anything else. I do feel better... much. But, still dealing with what's in my brain. I guess it'll get easier. I used to think, that it had a lot to do with Kendall and loving her... but it's been long enough and I need to get back to trying to have a simple relationship with a woman.
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