It's a few short days away. I haven't accomplished much, than to enjoy my vacation, which I'm doubting if I should have taken... but definitely needed. If not from the rut of my family, with whom I'm spending more time with than I can handle, after Aunt Ronnie's death. I have been steadily looking for work, every day, even while in Miami. But, still having little luck.
I think I should remark, that this part of my blog begins a quiet era. I need to write. It vents what I think and dream. Regardless of how silly... it has been something I've used for years to talk to and vent out frustrations. I might have mentioned this all before. "Her (who shall remain nameless)" lawyer sent me a summons, stating I had to take my blog down from public view. Honestly, as far as I am aware of... not many people read it. Let-a-lone did I expect her to. I mean, sometimes I write as if I'm asking questions... but, I really don't expect an answer or even a glace. Kelley reads this blog and talks to me on bad days. She's been there to listen to my cries, since the beginning. She's known "us" since the beginning and cares about what I am going through. From other perspectives, I can understand they don't see it that way. But I do. She's helped me through the beginning of all of this.
So... lets talk.
Miami was amazing. It was hell getting down there and I used some savings that I had put to the side, specifically for the trip, back in December. I took care of the hotel. It was awesome.
Sunday we arrive. Unpack, Hook up prospective computers, find a place for dinner. BLAM. We land in a German Restaurant. Pretty authentic and a lot of fun. We have Easter dinner, which was delicious... and the atmosphere was great. But, I glanced around a lot noticing families in each of the booths. It made me wonder what it would have been like to be surrounded by the kids. I only get a few times, where I can openly talk about the kids on the vacation without annoying anyone. So, I smiled and made jokes or anything that could take my mind off it.
We stopped into Ft. Lauderdale. The water was amazing. The moon had the most incredibly shimmer across the water. It really sunk in, how I really needed to take this trip. We step into a bar. I order a typical beer, because Tom and Joe were already talking about going to the bar next door. Joy... I know I'm not going to sit and relax. And I don't. We move to a Big Kahuna knockoff or something, get the free drink because of our wristbands. We listen to some karaoke. I sing a song and then back to the car and off to the hotel for bed. I called the kids, but never got through. I called a few times actually. It hurt. Year number 2 with no Easter.
On Monday, we went out to a sportsbar. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do on my vacation was sit and drink. I was saving that for the club. Which, I'll get to. Decked out in Phillies Gear, we sit and watch the game. And little by little, watch them lose. Not a great game. We spent a little time on the beach, which I walked away a little red. I got ahold of Scooby and Jay. Both of my cousins from when I was little. Both are real straight edge good guys. Far from the antics of the alcoholics and shit in my family. They both turned out pretty good. We caught up. I felt like I was rambling at times, but I guess everything was cool. They are family. We spent a couple house catching up, grabbing a quick bite to eat. And then talking some more. We spoke like old men.
Tuesday was a great day. We woke up and left right away for the Marina in Ft. Lauderdale. He had yet to really goto Miami... but that was just fine. We get there on time. Tom had set everything while we were all sleeping. We were to take a ride on the Party Boat. Which really wasn't really a "party" boat, but a fun boat. Had a slide off the back, a water trampoline, an amazing view anywhere on the boat. It was rocking. Probably because of the kids and parents and type of crowd, it wasn't at it's true making, but hell... I had a ton of fun, just being a big kid for a little while.
Tuesday night, we go back to the hotel. We all shower, dress and get ready for a night on the town in Miami. We pull into Miami. We're all excited, dressed in our best. Each doused in flavors of colognes and perfumes. We pack and feed the meter 4 hours worth of quarters. We get to the club. We're redirected and have to walk through a group of promoters who are just annoying as shit. We make our way to this new club. BIG guys in tuxedos guard the doors and grope just about every area you've got. 25$ cover charge. The most I have EVER paid. 14$ drinks. Unbelievable. But, undoubtedly, amazingly... the best, dance floor I have ever danced on. The second would be Lagoo... when Stevie B. was there, but it was because of the company.
Tom fled the club down the beach. He was drunk, but Joe, Sam and I were completely sober. It was pretty funny actually. He crashed on the beach, on him butt. He was excited, shouting about how we were actually on Miami beach. He rambled... and started talking about our friendship and how long we've known one another and then talked about "her". I didn't, only because I had already thought about her and dealt with that, early in the day. I didn't want to get back into it. I got him up and we moved him the 2 blocks back to car. We drove back to the hotel. On the ride back, Tom puked... which was an accomplishment... because honestly, no one had ever seen Tom puke. He's passed out... and thanks to some pirate gear, we tagged him for that one.
Wednesday, no one wanted to leave, though Joe was in a rush all day to get back on the road. We traveled back down to Miami. We pulled into the city and walked around getting pictures of a lot of different things. I realized, how much weight I've gained, once I looked at those pictures. I don't really like it. I don't really know how I got it. I didn't think my eating increased or moving around decreased. I do know, I want to lose it. I said that before... We head back to the beach and rent some bikes for an hour. I talk to Kylie and Johnathan. Still no Lori. I don't know how to cope with that. Sometimes, when I am done talking to K and J and the phone hangs up, I still tear up. It still really bothers me. It will for a long long time. We leave... sun still in the sky. It was a great trip. I haven't smiled like that in a few years.
We drive home.
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